Love’s blindness consists oftener in seeing what is not there than in seeing what is.

What did Peter De Vries mean by:

Love’s blindness consists oftener in seeing what is not there than in seeing what is.

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This quote is a profound observation about the nature of love and the ways in which it can distort our perception. It suggests that when we are in love, we are more prone to seeing things that do not exist, rather than failing to see what is present. Essentially, we tend to idealize the object of our affection, attributing qualities or traits to them that they may not possess, while overlooking their flaws and shortcomings. This is what is referred to as “Love’s blindness.”

This blindness is not necessarily a physical inability to see, but rather a mental and emotional one. It’s a sort of self-deception, where we consciously or unconsciously choose to see only what we desire to see. This is often driven by our deep-seated needs, desires, and expectations. We project our idealized image onto the person we love, and see them not for who they truly are, but for who we want them to be.

In today’s world, this concept is highly relevant. In the age of social media, where people often present idealized versions of themselves, it’s easy to fall into the trap of love’s blindness. We might fall in love with an image, a persona, rather than the actual person. This can lead to disappointment when the reality doesn’t match up to our idealized image.

In terms of personal development, understanding this concept can help us cultivate healthier and more realistic relationships. It encourages us to see people as they are, warts and all, rather than projecting our fantasies onto them. By doing so, we can build relationships based on genuine understanding and acceptance, rather than illusions. It’s a call to practice self-awareness and critical thinking in our relationships, to question our perceptions and assumptions, and to see beyond our blind spots.

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