What did Mitch Hedberg mean by: My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA Copy
+ If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. Feraz Zeid, January 31, 2023January 10, 2024, Mitch Hedberg, Courage, Determination, Strength, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. Feraz Zeid, August 1, 2023December 29, 2023, Mitch Hedberg, Care, Loss, Pens, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. Feraz Zeid, June 8, 2023December 29, 2023, Mitch Hedberg, Words, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. Feraz Zeid, November 3, 2022January 10, 2024, Mitch Hedberg, Food, Hunger, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work. Feraz Zeid, April 5, 2023January 10, 2024, Mitch Hedberg, Art, Humor, Parents, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Feraz Zeid, September 12, 2023December 29, 2023, Mitch Hedberg, Music, Normal, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Feraz Zeid, January 18, 2023January 10, 2024, Mitch Hedberg, Funny, Jokes, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
+ A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. Feraz Zeid, February 16, 2023January 10, 2024, Mitch Hedberg, Breakfast, Food, Waffles, 0 - Mitch Hedberg Comedian · USA
Fight any instinct to be humorless, for humorlessness is the worst of all absurdities. - Jean Cocteau Artist · France
I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young. - Jeff Lindsay Author
The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese. - Jeremy Paxman Journalist · United Kingdom
When you lose the power to laugh, you lose your power to think straight. - Jerome Lawrence Playwright · USA
This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since Roe vs. Wade. - Jerry Falwell
Who thinks the law has anything to do with justice? It’s what we have because we can’t have justice. - William McIlvanney Author · Scotland
Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. - William Moore Kelly
Men’s happiness and misery depends altogether as much upon their own humor as it does upon fortune. Explain - François de La Rochefoucauld Writer · France
