This quote highlights the contrasting motivations behind the lies told by realists and fantasists. A realist, according to Cooley, lies for advantage; they manipulate truth to serve their own interests or gain some tangible benefits. This could be in terms of power, money, status or any other form of material gain that can give them an edge over others.
On the other hand, a fantasist lies not for any tangible benefit but to add a semblance of reality to their dreams and fantasies. They distort truth not out of self-interest but out of a desire to make their imagined world seem more believable – both to themselves and perhaps also others around them.
In today’s world where we are increasingly living in virtual realities created by social media platforms and digital technologies, this quote is even more relevant. On social media platforms like Instagram or Facebook, many people (the ‘realists’) lie about their lives – posting pictures that project an image far removed from their actual lives – just for gaining likes or followers (their ‘advantage’).
On the other hand are those who use these platforms as outlets for expressing their creativity and imagination (the ‘fantasists’). They might post heavily edited pictures or create fictitious narratives around them not necessarily for getting likes but because it adds depth and substance to their creative expressions.
In terms of personal development too this idea holds significance. It suggests that we need self-awareness about why we might be lying – whether it is driven by our insecurities needing external validation (‘realist’ perspective) or our creative sides seeking expression (‘fantasist’ perspective). Once aware, we can then seek healthier ways of meeting those needs instead of resorting to lies. For instance, if you find yourself lying often on your social media posts just for getting more likes/followers you could try developing genuine connections with your followers instead. If you’re using lies as a tool for creative expression maybe you could try finding other creative outlets like writing or painting that don’t require you to distort reality.
