A love that is based on the goodness of those whom you love is a mercenary affair.
This quote suggests that a love founded on the virtues or positive qualities of the person you love is more of a transactional relationship than a genuine one. In other words, if you love someone primarily because of their goodness, you’re essentially engaging in a form of barter where you exchange your affection for their virtues. This is what Gandhi refers to as a “mercenary affair” – a love that is conditional and based on what you can get out of it, rather than being an unconditional and selfless emotion.
This kind of love can be unstable and fleeting, as it’s dependent on the continued presence of the virtues that attracted you in the first place. If those virtues were to diminish or disappear, the love might also fade. This is in contrast to a more profound love, which is not contingent on such factors and persists despite changes in the beloved’s qualities or circumstances.
Applying this idea to today’s world, it’s not uncommon to find relationships that are based on what one can gain from the other, be it wealth, status, beauty or other attributes. Social media, for example, often foregrounds these superficial aspects, encouraging people to present an idealized version of themselves and their lives, which can in turn foster a mercenary approach to relationships.
In terms of personal development, this quote could be a reminder to cultivate a more selfless, unconditional form of love – one that values the person for who they are in their entirety, rather than just for their virtues or what they can provide. This might involve developing a greater capacity for empathy, understanding, and acceptance, and learning to appreciate others in their complexity and imperfection. It could also mean recognizing and challenging any mercenary tendencies in our own approach to relationships.