A vain man finds it wise to speak good or ill of himself; a modest man does not talk of himself.

What did Jean de la Bruyere mean by:

A vain man finds it wise to speak good or ill of himself; a modest man does not talk of himself.

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This quote highlights the contrasting behaviors of vain and modest individuals in terms of self-expression. A vain person, driven by excessive pride or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements, tends to talk about himself, whether it’s praising his own virtues or acknowledging his own faults. This is because such individuals are often preoccupied with their own image and how others perceive them, making it ‘wise’ in their perspective to control the narrative around their persona.

On the other hand, a modest person, defined by their humility and lack of pretentiousness, avoids discussing themselves. They do not feel the need to control the narrative about themselves, as they are more focused on their actions rather than how they are perceived. Modesty often comes with a sense of self-assuredness and contentment within oneself, eliminating the need for external validation or approval.

In today’s world, this concept is particularly relevant in the digital age, where social media platforms have become a stage for self-promotion and image crafting. For some, these platforms are used to project an idealized version of themselves, often driven by vanity and the desire for validation, mirroring the behavior of the ‘vain man’ in the quote. They may share their achievements and even their failures with the intention of controlling how others perceive them.

For others, social media is a tool for connection and communication, not self-promotion. They share sparingly about themselves, preferring to engage with others’ content or discuss ideas and events, reflecting the behavior of the ‘modest man’.

In terms of personal development, this quote highlights the importance of self-awareness and authenticity. Understanding why we share what we do about ourselves, whether it’s driven by vanity or modesty, can lead to personal growth. It encourages us to question whether we are seeking external validation or are genuinely sharing our experiences. It also reminds us to focus on our actions and personal growth, rather than obsessing over how we are perceived by others.

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