…you canʹt always choose how you love a person. Love isnʹt logical or fair. It just happens.

What did Elizabeth Chandler mean by:

…you canʹt always choose how you love a person. Love isnʹt logical or fair. It just happens.


This quote speaks to the unpredictable and often inexplicable nature of love. It suggests that love doesn’t always adhere to our plans or expectations, and that it isn’t something we can control or dictate. We can’t choose to love someone based on a checklist of qualities or traits; love isn’t a rational process that follows a set of rules or guidelines. Instead, love is an emotion that arises spontaneously and often without any logical reasoning. It can happen with anyone, at any time, and under any circumstances, regardless of whether it seems fair or makes sense.

This quote also implies that love isn’t always fair. This could mean that love doesn’t always reciprocate, meaning that you might love someone who doesn’t love you back. Alternatively, it could mean that love doesn’t always result in happiness or fulfillment. Sometimes, love can cause pain, heartbreak, and disappointment. Yet despite its potential for causing suffering, we still pursue love because of the joy, connection, and meaning it can bring to our lives.

In today’s world, this quote is particularly relevant as it encourages us to embrace the uncertainty and unpredictability of love. In a society that often values logic, reason, and predictability, this quote invites us to surrender control and allow ourselves to experience the full range of emotions that love can bring. It suggests that we shouldn’t try to force or manipulate love, but instead, let it unfold naturally.

In terms of personal development, this quote can serve as a reminder to be open and receptive to love, even when it doesn’t align with our expectations or desires. It encourages us to accept love in all its forms, even when it’s messy, complicated, or painful. By doing so, we can learn to appreciate the complexity and richness of human emotions, and grow as individuals. Furthermore, understanding that love isn’t always logical or fair can help us cultivate resilience and emotional maturity, as we learn to navigate the challenges and disappointments that love can bring.

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