Alan Carr Quotes

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.

- Bob Saget

Comedian

· USA

• Lying

You can’t fake comedy – it’s not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

- Chris Rock

Comedian

· USA

• Directors
• Faces
• Fake

Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It’s not a number at all.

- Ellen DeGeneres

Comedian

· USA

• Body
• Self-love

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

- Groucho Marx

Comedian

· USA

• Eggs
• Stupidity

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn’t want to talk about, like death.

- Anthony Jeselnik

Comedian

· USA

• Death

Work hard, save and live within your means.

- Bill Bailey

Comedian

· England

• Hard
• Hard Work

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Explain

- Bob Hope

Comedian

· England

• Funny
• Hilarious
• Sarcastic

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.

- Paul Mooney

Comedian

· USA

George W. Bush loves golf because it’s like the election–low score wins.

- Jay Leno

Comedian

· USA

• Election
• Golf
• Winning

Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.

- Rodney Dangerfield

Comedian

· USA

• Funny